-- oh dear diary, we fell apart.

[yourbestguysgun]

"... What do you mean record a message? Ain't the whole point it bein' the other way round. Stupid piece o' --."

☎ Call
☏ Text
✔ Voicemail

[ ooc: action is also a-okay, if you know where to find him. :) ]

Comments

[phone]

[yourbestguysgun]

It sings? What is with that guy and making inanimate objects talk t'people?

[ Holster? Check. Loaded gun? Check. ] I try not t'think how weird the future is, mostly.

[phone]

[punchedhitler]

I can't get it back to just ringing, and I can't go back to the store because Tony says that the clerk wants me to come back so she can...want my pants.

[Steve is terrible at euphemisms]

Mostly I think this is probably all Stark's fault.

[phone]

[yourbestguysgun]

[ Sorry, he's just going to laugh down the phone. ] Don't think it's your pants she wants, kid, but what's in 'em.

Which one? Or both?

[phone]

[punchedhitler]

I know what the euphemism is, thanks.

[Tony explained it ;;]

Right now I'm blaming Howard.

[phone]

[yourbestguysgun]

Jus' sayin' sweetheart.

[ Door open, door closing. ] That's what happens when rich jerks get in control.

[phone]

[punchedhitler]

I don't think it's the money as much as it's the...

[Crazy is mean, right?]

Eccentricities.

[phone]

[yourbestguysgun]

Without the money it'd be the local loony bin, it helps, don't it?

[phone]

[punchedhitler]

Did you know that Tony won't take things from people's hands?

[phone]

[yourbestguysgun]

So damn, I gotta take that into consideration when I make 'im cookies, huh?

[ Do. Not. Ask. ] Maybe napkins.

[phone]

[punchedhitler]

Are you trying to kill him?

[phone]

[yourbestguysgun]

Steve, c'mon.

[ Defensive. ] My aim's too good for poisoned cookies.

[phone]

[punchedhitler]

You wouldn't have to poison them. Do you even know how to bake?

[phone]

[yourbestguysgun]

Uh - [ Remember all those cookies he bought when you were sick, Steve? Well, they weren't from a shop. ] Maybe?

[phone]

[punchedhitler]

[P A U S E]

Oh my god.

You can bake?

[phone]

[yourbestguysgun]

Look, it's -.

[ Damnit. ] Yeah, fine. I can bake. Like cookies, that's it. It's the only thing I learnt.

[phone]

[punchedhitler]

Sweetheart why didn't you ever say so?

[phone]

[yourbestguysgun]

Shuddup.

[ Yeah, he's grumbling now. He needs his macho points back. ]

[phone]

[punchedhitler]

You'll make a lovely housewife one day-

[Steve swallows the last y, because no, he won't, damn it why does he keep saying stuff like this?]

[phone]

[yourbestguysgun]

[ Well. One day Bucky's going to find out what's got Steve's head all up in knots, because he's not stupid, knows there's something.

Still, he's the type of guy to just get on with it. Huffing. ] Ain't gonna fight for me, huh? Bet you'll jus' hand me over to the first husband y'find. You're the worst, Rogers.

[phone]

[punchedhitler]

Would I do that?

I'll make sure he'll take good care of you. Only the best.

[phone]

[yourbestguysgun]

Nah, bachelor forever, that's me. What use've I of that whole thing?

[phone]

[punchedhitler]

It's not like we have time anyway.

[phone]

[yourbestguysgun]

Y'say that we're never gettin' back home.

[ Softly. ] I wanna babysit your kids, you're comin' back with me.

[phone]

[punchedhitler]

[Weeping. WEEPING. On the inside where no one can see]

You'd spoil them rotten.

[phone]

[yourbestguysgun]

'Course I would, I'd tell them all the stories too. Their Pop's a hero, I'm gonna make sure they know.