-- oh dear diary, we fell apart.

[yourbestguysgun]

"... What do you mean record a message? Ain't the whole point it bein' the other way round. Stupid piece o' --."

☎ Call
☏ Text
✔ Voicemail

[ ooc: action is also a-okay, if you know where to find him. :) ]

Comments

[yourbestguysgun]

Yup.

[ And shit, that's not good. Bucky rubs circles in his arm for a moment, keeping his voice pitched low. ] Y'were having a nightmare, champ.

[punchedhitler]

[He rubs his eyes and shakes his head, getting his bearings. He's in the City, that's right, Bucky's here, relatively safe, there's nothing to fight or worry about, he's okay.

As okay as he'll get. Bucky loves him. There isn't anything to worry about.

It still takes him another minute to uncurl. His hands hurt from pressing into such tight fists]

Sorry I woke you.

[yourbestguysgun]

Don't be dumb, it's okay.

[ Bucky can track his movements in the dark now, breathes out and lets his hand rest, still touching him. ] Y'wanna talk about it?

[punchedhitler]

[Steve reaches out for Bucky's hand, and he shakes his head once - just once, but then he's talking]

They're just nightmares.

[Nightmares that come true.]

[yourbestguysgun]

[ Tangling their fingers together. ] Yeah, don't mean you don't wanna get it out of your system. [ A pause. If he hasn't noticed, then either this is the first time Steve's made noises, or he's just a jerk. ]

[punchedhitler]

[Steve lets Bucky tangle their fingers, then suddenly tightens his grip, holding on]

They're about you.

[He's not a jerk - usually Steve wakes himself up before, but maybe it was the curse, the side effect from not touching]

[yourbestguysgun]

Well, I am pretty much nightmare material, I'll give you that.

[ Because he has to combat the sad face somehow. ] Y'need to tell me about 'em?

[punchedhitler]

[Oh god Bucky, you make Steve crack a smile]

I don't think I should talk about them.

[yourbestguysgun]

Should an' need are two different things, buddy. [ Running his thumb along Steve's palm. Fondly. ] Besides, if you've got your big dumb feelings all twisted up, might do you some good.

[punchedhitler]

[He goes quiet for a second]

If you knew...that the mountain was going to be the last time you saw me, what would you have said?

[yourbestguysgun]

[ He stills for a moment. ]

I don't know. [ Breathing in slowly, and then. ] That y'were the best thing in my life and it didn't matter, I would'a followed you into hell if that's where we were going. [ His surety of Steve is something Bucky still holds on to. ]

[punchedhitler]

[Steve reaches up to touch Bucky on the face, but he stops halfway there]

I keep dreaming about the fall. About dropping you.

[yourbestguysgun]

[ With a noise. ]

It weren't your fault. [ Because he knows Steve that well, he knows what he's thinking. ] You're not to blame.

[punchedhitler]

[He shakes his head]

It doesn't matter. You'd blame yourself too.

I'm sorry. I should have made you go back to New York.

[Steve reaches for Bucky again, and doesn't succeed, again.]

[yourbestguysgun]

What?

[ Frowning in the dark. ] Steve, I signed up for the war, I made my choice, I decided to go.

[punchedhitler]

[He knows, and he knows, and he knows. It's the nightmares, the dark]

Come here?

[yourbestguysgun]

[ Bucky closes the gap, touches Steve's wrist and then moves to wrap his arms around the other man, pull him close. Voice muffled. ] Without you, I'll die scared and alone, I would've been tortured to death. At least I get to see you again before I go. At least I'll be able to know it was worth it.

[punchedhitler]

[Steve's face is a little wet, and he huffs out an apology against his hair. His arms tighten around Bucky, holding him tight.]

[yourbestguysgun]

[ Fingers curling in Steve's hair, pressing right in to all the desperate spaces as though pure force will keep them together. With a fierce quality to his voice. ] Don't you ever forget that fighting with you was what I wanted. I chose this and I'd do it again.

[punchedhitler]

You always had me covered, Bucky. Whenever I got in trouble, whenever I couldn't keep my trap shut, every time.

Always.

[He presses his face against the side of Bucky's, like he can hide there, even though he doesn't really want to hide from anyone.]

[yourbestguysgun]

What else was I supposed to do, huh? [ He sounds gentle, he knows without a shadow of a doubt it would always be Steve. ]

[punchedhitler]

I wouldn't ask you to do anything different.

[His hold loosens]

Sorry I woke you.

[yourbestguysgun]

Hey, it's okay. I'd rather know y'were good than just sleep, right?

[ Smoothing a hand over his back. ]

[punchedhitler]

Never thought I'd be so grateful for touch.

[He shifts a little, to get comfortable]

[yourbestguysgun]

[ A low hum. ] I remember when y'got chicken pox and we couldn't play. You were handsy after that too.