-- oh dear diary, we fell apart.

[yourbestguysgun]

"... What do you mean record a message? Ain't the whole point it bein' the other way round. Stupid piece o' --."

☎ Call
☏ Text
✔ Voicemail

[ ooc: action is also a-okay, if you know where to find him. :) ]

Comments

[yourbestguysgun]

Should an' need are two different things, buddy. [ Running his thumb along Steve's palm. Fondly. ] Besides, if you've got your big dumb feelings all twisted up, might do you some good.

[punchedhitler]

[He goes quiet for a second]

If you knew...that the mountain was going to be the last time you saw me, what would you have said?

[yourbestguysgun]

[ He stills for a moment. ]

I don't know. [ Breathing in slowly, and then. ] That y'were the best thing in my life and it didn't matter, I would'a followed you into hell if that's where we were going. [ His surety of Steve is something Bucky still holds on to. ]

[punchedhitler]

[Steve reaches up to touch Bucky on the face, but he stops halfway there]

I keep dreaming about the fall. About dropping you.

[yourbestguysgun]

[ With a noise. ]

It weren't your fault. [ Because he knows Steve that well, he knows what he's thinking. ] You're not to blame.

[punchedhitler]

[He shakes his head]

It doesn't matter. You'd blame yourself too.

I'm sorry. I should have made you go back to New York.

[Steve reaches for Bucky again, and doesn't succeed, again.]

[yourbestguysgun]

What?

[ Frowning in the dark. ] Steve, I signed up for the war, I made my choice, I decided to go.

[punchedhitler]

[He knows, and he knows, and he knows. It's the nightmares, the dark]

Come here?

[yourbestguysgun]

[ Bucky closes the gap, touches Steve's wrist and then moves to wrap his arms around the other man, pull him close. Voice muffled. ] Without you, I'll die scared and alone, I would've been tortured to death. At least I get to see you again before I go. At least I'll be able to know it was worth it.

[punchedhitler]

[Steve's face is a little wet, and he huffs out an apology against his hair. His arms tighten around Bucky, holding him tight.]

[yourbestguysgun]

[ Fingers curling in Steve's hair, pressing right in to all the desperate spaces as though pure force will keep them together. With a fierce quality to his voice. ] Don't you ever forget that fighting with you was what I wanted. I chose this and I'd do it again.

[punchedhitler]

You always had me covered, Bucky. Whenever I got in trouble, whenever I couldn't keep my trap shut, every time.

Always.

[He presses his face against the side of Bucky's, like he can hide there, even though he doesn't really want to hide from anyone.]

[yourbestguysgun]

What else was I supposed to do, huh? [ He sounds gentle, he knows without a shadow of a doubt it would always be Steve. ]

[punchedhitler]

I wouldn't ask you to do anything different.

[His hold loosens]

Sorry I woke you.

[yourbestguysgun]

Hey, it's okay. I'd rather know y'were good than just sleep, right?

[ Smoothing a hand over his back. ]

[punchedhitler]

Never thought I'd be so grateful for touch.

[He shifts a little, to get comfortable]

[yourbestguysgun]

[ A low hum. ] I remember when y'got chicken pox and we couldn't play. You were handsy after that too.

[punchedhitler]

I was not.

[He was. He wouldn't stop grabbing Bucky's arm, But he doesn't remember that part, only how grateful he was to be able to go outside afterwards]

[yourbestguysgun]

Uh huh. [ Bucky curls breathes out, happy to hold on to him for the time being. ] Selective memory there, buddy.

[punchedhitler]

[Well.

He puts his hands up the back of Bucky's shirt]

I remember wanting to go outside.

[yourbestguysgun]

Yeah, y'practically kicked me in the face to get out the door, I remember that too.

[punchedhitler]

[Sheepish]

You wouldn't get out of the way.

[But he presses a kiss against Bucky's neck]

[yourbestguysgun]

[ With a content noise, rubbing a hand down his spine. ]

I was tying my goddamn shoelace, jerk.

[punchedhitler]

[Steve's hand echoes Bucky, except that Steve's is moving under Bucky's shirt, skin-to-skin]

I told you I was sorry.

[yourbestguysgun]

[ Laughing into his shoulder. ] Yeah, yellin' it down the street. [ But it's diffused the situation, and Bucky feels happy knowing Steve is here, is okay, wriggling a little like Crepe would when they pet her. ]